Stand
Psalms 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
Psalms 16:8 “I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”
When you've done all that you know to do, and there is nothing else to do, stand. I've spent countless hours in prayer asking the Lord for forgiveness, confessing my sins, etc, because I have read and heard that sin can cause illness in our lives. I try to make a point of confessing often anyways, or immediately after I sin, but I like to spend extra time with the Lord and ask Him to reveal to me those things that He wants me to confess -- to create in me a clean heart.
I've gone through and made inventories of all that I've done or not done, then confessed after that. I am to the point now that all I can do is stand. The Lord gave me these two scriptures this morning, and I believe He has healed my body and continue to confess that belief. I also see a greater purpose for this trial I am in, and that is touching those who may not come to church and getting to witness to them about the Lord's goodness in spite of how I may be feeling at the moment.
Honestly, I'd felt like a failure as a Christian when I went to the doctor many months ago, and asked for help. I'd needed help for well over 2 years, but refused to get the help because I'd felt like if I did that I was a failure as a Christian or that I didn't have enough faith that the Lord would heal me, or that I wasn't praying hard enough, etc. All of that stuff. When I was living by myself it was easy to hide how I was feeling because if I felt crappy, I could just go away for a while until it passed, but when I got married, I could no longer hide it. I needed medication to help balance out my body. There -- I admitted it. I've been taking this anti-depressant now for over 8 months. I'm not 100% yet, but am also dealing with all this pain in my body -- which is something I've dealt with for over 4 years -- but has just gotten worse over the last year.
When I had to get the medication, the Lord reminded me of a time that a woman came to me in CR and told me she was struggling with depression, and how she knew that the Lord had healed her, but she still felt bad. In looking back on that I don't think I was as compassionate as I should have been. Sometimes I wonder if I'm going through all of this sickness for an even greater purpose. I know one good thing that has come from it is that I have grown to have an even greater compassion for those who are sick.
Over the last 4 years, I have had such GREAT victory over so many things -- alcohol, codependence, sex addiction, love addiction, financial recovery, etc., that I think it is possible that I started to get prideful and would wonder why when people were struggling why they wouldn't have immediate victory -- and would think that they need to pray more, or whatever. Being sick this long with no victory in this area has helped me to see that sometimes it doesn't happen immediately, and it doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong.
In 2006, the Lord told me in a dream that He was taking away His protection of me much like He did with Job. I found that journal recently, and in my dream I was screaming "NO." The Lord also told me in 2007 that it would get worse before it got better. I even got confirmation of this from my husband after the Lord told me. I didn't like that, but told the Lord that I trusted Him and His plan and purposes for my life.
Sometimes when you've done all that you know and can do, sometimes you just have to stand.
Comments
Whatchyou talkin 'bout Willis? LOL This is an awesome post, and you know I am proud of you What's that part about God taking his protection away from you mean? Did you take that to a pastor? Would God really do that? I'm just asking, because I've never heard of God doing that before? I'm not trying to question you, I'm just trying to understand.
Good stuff Michele! I know the book of Job well. Often I have to remind myself to be patient that God is not finished with me yet, that I need to embrace the place where I am at instead of being constantly worried, trying to change things only God can change. We tend to resist and fight and rebuke the things in our lives that are uncomfortable to us or that we do not understand when what we really need to do is "chill-out" and accept the place where we are at as the place God has us on our way to something better( I like that thought)! That we are exactly where we are supposed to be. We can't pray away everything that is uncomfortable in our lives believe me no one has tried harder to do this than me, but we can trust God will see us through and he will and does ALWAYS. I don't need to tell you, as Christians we don't grow nearly as much when everything is easy as we do during adversity, I like to think of it as spiritual growing pains!
Prov. 4:20-27
20 My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words.
21 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within you heart;
22 for they are life for those who find them and health to a whole man's body.
23 Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
24 Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.
27 Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil
Out of our hearts flow the issues, it is the source of our life, if our perspective is good our life will be good, who needs Satan when we keep beating ourselves up? Pastor Kevin Gerald
Oh..Ok, that makes more sense now. I thought you meant like, God was going to leave you for a while and let satan have at it. Thankyou for clarifying that for me.
Love you!